WRITTEN BY MINISTER GEE
JANUARY 4TH 2024
What the Lord my God has done for me.
I was brought up in a very safe and secure environment and very well looked after by my family. I never wanted or needed for a thing, but I never knew the word that was over my life or that the enemy knew my name from when I was born. What I knew was that I was loved, adored and wanted.
I can look back now and see how the world was unkind to me outside of my home and the enemy had a plan to break me before I knew who I was in God and questioned if I was loved and who I was, but God had a different plan.
I had to have an operation as a baby, was struck down by a car at the age of 3 and broke my arms and legs, scars over my body and twisted a bone in my neck, which could have left me paralysed from the neck downward if it turned the wrong way, but it did not.
In primary age, I had various operations and experienced extreme bullying about every part of my identity and what I looked like whilst having operations on my body from the knock on effects of my accident.
In secondary school, a new identity kicked in and I aligned myself to fit in and be the same as everyone else, when where I came from was so much better and safer than where and what I wanted to be a part of.
Trying to be accepted because I didn’t understand my true worth.
In college and work, I had a journey of trying to find out who I was supposed to be and life did not pause for me. It kept on and in life and in the midst of adversity, God showed me who I was but what he showed me was different to who I thought I was.
God showed me who he was and it was different to who I thought he was.
It was like looking through a looking glass and seeing something different to what was the perceived experience and stance in life.
Has it been a journey? Yes. Have I been hurt and hurt others in my pain? Yes.
Have I run from my calling? Yes. Have I had to learn to love me? Yes.
Have I had to learn to accept me and my journey? Yes.
You see – my God, my father, my comforter, my healer, my redeemer, – he became real to me. He jumped outside of the bible and became real and relevant. He took me out of the looking glass to face reality as he made it, not as the world made it. He taught me who I was and who I was made to be. He sent people to help me in seasons, when he knew I was not going to move but my heart was willing.
You see my God, he just became so real that he never left me nor let me down. He loved me through my faults, my fears, my stubbornness, my mistakes. HE taught me that it was ok , that I was ok and he would never leave me, no matter what.
He taught me that his love was never failing and he would stand firm for me even when I would not for myself.
He taught me that he was real and spoke clearly everyday. He stood by me through the trials and strengthened me through life and never let me go.
He broke every lie spoken into and over my life and showed me that his love can and will conquest every lie.
I cannot tell you all what has and hasn’t happened, but I can tell you the truth. I would not be alive but for him today and that’s a fact.
Have I been upset with him? Yes.
Have I stopped talking to him? Yes.
Has he left me? No. He just sent people to help me when I was not even in the right place in my heart to thank Him.
So in short, what has God done for me? Everything! as without life there is no hope and without God there is no life. There is no future, there is no real filling of that gap inside that desperately needs to be filled and no human can possibly do it.
Did you want to read some spiritual quotations? I can give you that.
Who is my help in time of need? – Philippians 4:6-7
Who held me up when I was weak? – 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
Who forgave me when I was wrong? – Exodus 15:2
Who taught me to do the right things? – 1st John 1:9
Who never left me? – 2 Timothy 3:16 – Hebrews 13:5
Who always loved me? – John 15:9-13
Who saw me for who I am? – Genesis 16:13
Who told me about my future? – John 29:11
The scriptures answer these questions and in a very short answer, it is God.
People question God and his motives, but who are we to question who gave us life and breath. How are we to understand the creativity from which we came from? The depth of who gave us life and the very ground what he made and what we stand on? He is not human, but omnipresent and omniscient. He is everything and is real.
I don’t have hollow words, I have true testimonies and there was a day when I wondered why I had so much.
This is why. For much is given, much is expected.
I represent truth and the truth is I LOVE HIM, I LOVE JEHOVAH, Papa El Roi to me – God who sees me and I am eternally grateful for His grace, mercy and love over my life and my family.
WRITTEN BY MARTIN STEVENS
JANUARY 4TH 2024
I was brought up attending church on a weekly basis with my mother. I really enjoyed learning about the Bible stories and just reading the Bible in general, because of all the teachings of wisdom, instruction and warnings, etc. I even loved attending Bible study classes and prayer meetings with the adults, as it helped with my maturity transition phase so much, but my real independent walk with God started to take shape around the time that I witnessed my prayers being answered in ways that just could not just be chalked up to being a coincidence.
I don’t remember what many of those prayer examples were now, but one of my older testimonials that I recall was when I used to work in a warehouse in London Bridge. A well-paid job, but provided very low job satisfaction, plus it had no room for growth or promotion as it was a small family-run business. I had reached a point where I had yearned for a suit and tie type of work, so I told my wife that I planned to hand in my notice, be out of work for one week, then start a new job the following Monday. I think I even testified in church about it beforehand.
So, the time for my last day at work came, I then went to the job centre the Monday morning, feeling confident that I would find some work that day or that week. Tues, Wednesday, then Thursday rolled around. I still hadn’t secured anything, and Friday morning was now here, and anxiety was creeping
- “What have I done? How crazy is this idea? In a time where people were already struggling, how have I left a secure job before securing a new job first?!”.
That Friday morning my wife bid me goodbye and said that I should still trust God. So, I prayed again and left it in God’s hands. Shortly after that, a call came in from an agency I had visited the day before. “Hi there, is that Martin? …. We have a job role that has come up. Would you be available to start on Monday?” Wooo hooo!!! My faith was rewarded, and God received the glory once again.
God and His son Christ Jesus have always been a part of my life, as far back as primary school. I even remember telling my friends that I wasn’t allowed to swear, so I never did. I guess this helped me with my own disciplines and abilities to be calm and to think before I act. And likewise, when I started to take an interest in songwriting, thanks to a song that I hated so much, I challenged myself to do better, I would often find ways to incorporate my faith stance into my lyrics with most songs, but not all, as I didn’t really have many examples to follow at the time. Gospel rapping was very corny and cheesy to listen to back then, with the exception of a little-known group called DC Talk.
Fast forward to my adulthood and I’m well into 90’s rap music. Biggie, JayZ, Nas, Busta Rhymes, Foxy Brown, LL Cool J, The Fugees and so many more. There wasn’t any real Christian Hip Hop circulating… until I heard of a group called Cross Movement (CM). Oh My Days. They could really rap about God, Jesus, Life, the Bible and so much more … without sounding ridiculously silly. In fact, they were better than many secular artists. However, I was still young, but they were inspiring more Christians who could also rap, which brings me to where we are today. I remember the moment of feeling proud to announce that I had a new favourite rapper to replace Jay Z … and his name was Gemstones. I started to listen to all of his interviews and back catalogue to learn about his transition form secular music and discovering how he knew that God was always calling him, but he wrestled with the decision to switch and realising that I actually had the gift to rap as well, but doubted my own ability and thus, didn’t really pursue it at the time. Now, there are a whole list of favourites I can name, and even hope to work with on a project or two, including the likes of Bizzle, Datin, Sevin and hopefully some of the CM members, like Ambassador and Da Truth.
I see music as a medium for communicating through. It reaches people on a different level than speaking, plus it has the ability to have a longer lasting effect because it has a rhythm and rhymes that makes remembering certain things become easier, and we see this every day. For instance, I can tell you the names of the New Testament books in order, thanks to a song. However, I cannot tell you which letter follows K or N in the alphabet without singing it through first.
Many of the songs and raps I have written, have been to inspire myself and / or others, to share a message or to convey a lesson. So, for instance, I wrote ‘Your Future Is In Your Vision’ as an encouragement to myself, so that any time I felt low or doubted myself and my journey to purpose, I could just rap those lyrics to myself to get me back in place and focused again. It often worked, but sometimes it wasn’t sufficient enough to shake other feelings of doubt that I’ve wrestled with, especially of recent. “Is God really real? Was He real, but simply faded away to another place and has left us because we’re too stubborn and difficult to work with? Does He really have time or care about my prayers and my life?” My lyrics weren’t going to provide answers for those questions.
So then, I decided to bring this agenda to the table. Let me write about my doubts and my mental struggles, especially if I know that I desire for my album title to reflect this very issue, I’m going to have to find a way to express this. So I did. The added beauty of this whole journey, is that I am also an author and unlike all other artists, I plan to turn many of my songs into books, as this would allow me to take many of my songs (not all of them), to a deeper level and to also bring the listener with me on this journey should they want to explore each thought or topic further. I currently don’t know of any artist to do this, so I’m super excited to potentially be the first and hope to inspire others to consider doing the same, especially any artists that will come through my Independent Record Label.
My doubts have been real, even more so when I reflect on huge, missed opportunities that I wish I was wiser to have handled differently, as they would have freed me from the financial restrictions that I face today. Yet, I live and believe that the wealth that I should have received over 20 years ago, is still waiting to locate me, my family and those around me. In closing, I’ll leave you with some lyrics of the opening few bars that address some of my doubts, whilst knowing that I’ll always believe.
“You wouldn’t even know, because it doesn’t show on my face.
My state of mental health when it’s all over the place.
Got so many reasons to doubt, but still, I’m holding my faith.
If you’re a believer, then I’m sure you relate.
You think I’m ready to quit, right?!
I’m tired of making all these mistakes.
Plus, He (God) ignores me when I get like that.
Matter of fact.
I’m conflicted about prayer but believe that it works.
While Matthew 6:33 says we should ‘Seek Ye first’.
Yet we have many church members that have knee-deep hurts. …”
By Shynin’ Lyt
